RIBBONS NEED LOVE TOO!

Think of all that ribbons do for you!  They help millions (gillions?) of Americans support whatever cause they feel like supporting.  

          QUESTIONS                                            ANSWERS
        - Do ribbons ask to be paid?                     No!
        - Do they demand medical benefits?       Never!
        - Do they make casseroles?                     Sometimes!
        - Are they yellow?                                       Most of the time!  
        - Do they get any love?                              Um..you're weird.
        - Answer me, do they get any love??       No!

Ladies & gentlemen, it's time to GIVE SOME LOVE BACK!  Ribbons support freakin' everything, it's time to support them!  

NOT CONVINCED?  Peek in on this private conversation between:
SHANE: Not very intelligent.  Likes buffalo wings & quiet walks on the beach.
MR. RIBBON: Owner of isupportribbons.com; celebrity in ribbon society.

SHANE: How can I help, Mr. Ribbon?  How can I support your kind?

MR. RIBBON: Well, it's easy.  Pick up an authentic "I Support Ribbons" bumper sticker! Or a mug!  Or a mousepad!  Whatever!  

SHANE: Wow, that's like, easy and stuff.  Do all the proceeds go directly to ribbons like you?

MR. RIBBON: Uh, sure!  I mean, yes!

SHANE: That's awesome!  Want to have a drinking contest?  My nipples are tingling!

MR. RIBBON: I'll drink you and your nipples under the table.

Bumper stickers!